Here are some quick tips to help foster a social-emotional rooted environment in the home between the child and the caregiver(s).
Meltdowns, tantrums, crying, oh my!
What is a parent to do when it comes to discipline in one of these instances?
Below are some quick tips and best practices that may help soothe a child in such a situation and bring more balance to your life at home.
Tip #1 - Consistency
Consistency helps develop a child's sense of safety and security. Try to implement a regular rhythm for your family and explain changes to schedules or lifestyles accordingly to help prevent acting out.
Tip #2 - Communication
Communicate with your child by consistently making clear and specific requests. Then honor your word and follow up.
If you tell child you are going to do something, do it. Try not to lie to help establish expectation and trust. For example, in your frustration you may blurt out "I will cancel your birthday party tomorrow if you don't stop doing _____" knowing good and well that is something you would never actually do.
Parents who "lie" in this way teach their child not to trust them. The child or children then learn over time that a parent will not be completely honest with them. In short, lying in this way can hurt your credibility as a trusted source of information and direction in the long run.
Tip #3 - Offer Connection
Instead of trying to convince a child to stop crying, let them continue to cry so they can learn how to self-regulate. If they are manic and/or continue to cry, ask to give them a hug, ask them to breathe together with you then explain the emotion(s) they appear to be experiencing.
If they are still inconsolable after that, offer them water to help them calm down.
Tip #4 - Respect
Foster a culture of mutual culture of respect in your home. Acknowledge and apologize to your child if you did something wrong so they will see what humility looks like.
Because ultimately, respect begets respect.
Tip #5 - Consider External Factors
Oftentimes things like lack of sleep and consuming sugar can perpetuate a rapid range of negative toddler emotions. Limit sugar intake and reserve for early risings and/or after naps. Do not give children items with high fructose corn syrup. And try your best to make sure your toddler gets enough sleep!
This Too Shall Pass
In moments of a child's despair, try your best to remember things won't always be this way. Children grow up eventually and those moments of undesirable behavior will dissipate. Life with a toddler won't always be a power struggle, negotiation or constant consoling. Hang in there and do the work of helping your child learn how to regulate their own emotions while they are young with these tips so that the entire family is built on a solid social-emotional framework.